Connection? How Deep is Yours?
Years ago, the Bee Gees wrote the song, How Deep Is Your Love? and yes, it became a massive hit. It is a song about getting to know that special someone in our lives. Last week I had an aha moment about all our friends, connections, and acquaintances outside our close inner circle. So that’s what I want to share with you today.
We both know there are pros and cons to all social platforms, right? I have been on Linked In almost from its beginning year. Originally I wanted to become a hefty connector. But that became a lot of time-consuming work with no quick payoff. So after a few years, I got more selective about who I connected with and decided to focus on quality instead of quantity.
Over the last six years, I decided to know the people I connected with. Really get to know them. I would ask many of them questions, send them good stuff to read, and ideas to ponder. Occasionally I would ask for their thoughts on something I was considering. I would always celebrate with them or even cry, and never once have I tried to pitch anyone.
As a result, I have enjoyed getting to know many people on my connection list very well. To the point that some have morphed very close to the intimacy found in the friendships one has with close friends and colleagues. While they never made it to my ‘close inner circle,’ many now fall into the ring that sits right beside that special sanctum.
This year, I lost two of my LinkedIn cyber connections. One in May and one last week. Solid, upstanding, honourable people. Gone to the other side, a better life for all eternity. Their death is not the point of my scribblings today. The impact of their death is.
Each time I learned of each death, my reaction was identical. I felt like I had taken a gut punch. Not as hard as when a 3D friend passes. But still a gut punch. And I struggled to figure out why. I mean, most of us keep our social lives and our physical lives separate, don’t we? And most of us know that what happens in the social world is just the pretty stuff, which doesn’t reflect reality, right?
This brings me to the moment the penny dropped. I believe that no matter the origin of the connection — whether online or not, there is a singular point we need to ask ourselves. How deep is the ‘love’ we have for that connection? Because that depth factor is the secret sauce of relationship building.
We all know that building relationships take time. Time so many of us complain we don’t have. Yet that time can be halved if we make an effort to get to know the other person. To find out what is going on with them, instead of simply selling our goods and services.
Human beings were built for connection. Human beings are social creatures. If you want to make yourself, your life, and your business the best it can be, start with the very messy work of building relationships. Yes, it requires some time, patience, and love from you. Be unafraid of going for the gold and mining deeply. Really focus on deepening your love.
Please believe me. It is so worth it. Wanna chat about deepening a connection or two? Reach out.